A Guide to Being Jewish Around the Holidays

Thanksgiving is over. This means it is officially Christmas time. As a Jewish elementary school student, you feel a little resentful. You and the Grinch see eye to eye on some things. It is technically the holiday season, but who are you kidding? It's Christmas season. Lights are hung, and Christmas trees make their first appearances of the year. Bubbe would shoot a disapproving look. In the car, you switch from radio channel to radio channel. From all of them, Christmas tunes are blasting. You think to yourself, “Where are all the Jewish songs?” Your friends sport Santa Hats, but you hesitantly walk past. You refuse to let one of those things touch your head. The choir is rehearsing for the Christmas show, but it is a silent night for you. You think to yourself, “Bah, Humbug.”

Several years pass, and you are now in middle school. A new holiday season is upon you. This year, you do not walk past your friends. You are feeling a bit more at ease with the holiday traditions. Somehow, you find yourself warily trying on a Santa hat for a photo, and you hope the photo never falls into the hands of Bubbe. You will shun the fruitcake as usual, but if someone catches you with a cup of eggnog in hand, it's alright. Someone wishes you a “merry Christmas”, and you reply with a “happy Chanukah.”

December rolls around once again, and you are now in high school. As a Jew, it is time to get your Christmas spirit on. After all, it is the holiday season. Dupe dee do. As you listen to the radio, you notice once again that not one single song is about Chanukah, but, as you have gotten older, this strikes your attention less and less. You face the facts: there are no good Chanukah songs. Nobody is calling in to KissFM, and requesting Dreidel Dreidel Dreidel. Perhaps Adam Sandler needs to dust off his guitar, and write another Chanukah song. At school, you participate in “Secret Santa,” and you wear an ugly Christmas sweater with pride. You feel the holiday spirit, but it is still as though you are a guest at a party… but you were invited. As you leave school for winter break, everyone will wish you a “merry Christmas”, and you wish them a “merry Christmas” back. You will participate in another’s faith, but fear not for you will never lose sight of your own. Though Chanukah is not reflected through Christmas lights, it is, after all, the festival of the lights.

Bonus: Okay class, let's go over decorating your house as a Jew. This part requires meticulous attention. Read carefully. A Christmas tree is a big no-no. If Bubbe ever comes over and sees a christmas tree, she may very well start having heart palpitations. Liberties may be taken by hanging a garland, but remember to keep your Jewish doctor on speed dial – just in case. You learned your lesson last year when your aunt bought a christmas tree for her Christian husband, and Bubbe boycotted the house until the tree was gone. Oy Vey. Bonus tip: fill your house with Jewish scents to block out the smell of pine. I recommend baking Latkes.

Good luck Jews! I hope this holiday season is a happy one for you and Bubbe.